Style is for pussies.

Well, I'm back. Amidst the flood of new members, videos and such, you motherfuckers probably forgot I even existed. As you can see, I'm still here, and still alive. I've got a couple of reviews in the queue (I'll try to review more well-known bands for the blog in an effort to give it more exposure) but I figured you guys want a more general post, so here you go. This is probably the only time Ten Minutes to Nowhere's resident cranky metalhead will be catering to the whims of his audience, so eat it up. You're not gonna get a chance like this again.

A FEW NOTES BEFORE WE BEGIN:
-this is a general rant. This will be the only other kinda post I'll make other than reviews. Just so you know.
-at the end of any rants, because this is still a "blog" per se, and because I'm quite the music fanatic, I'll post a random band I've discovered recently that I find awesome. Hopefully you enjoy it too, so you'll buy their CD and stop listening to the crap you listen to.
-most of my rants are done out of spontaneous blind rage, so they ARE rather extreme and hyperbolic. Keep that in mind.
-Feel free to argue my opinions if you don't agree with them. I love arguments. I'll whoop your ass in them because my opinions are inherently superior to all others.

Now that we've got those formalities out of the way, let us begin.

I hate fashion. I really do. I hate anybody who is too obsessed with "how they look". Clothing is used to cover up parts of the body that are "not suitable" for the wandering eye to gaze at, or of course, basic survival needs. Clothing should not be used to make some baseless "statement" or to try and go "against the norm". You're not unique. Even if you've snorted 80 fire ants through your nose whilst juggling to the tune of "I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major General", you're still not unique. You conform. Get used to it.

Even if this "statement" you're making is somehow valid (it would have to be in some sort of retarded parallel universe where Hitler is praised as an amazing, revolutionary individual and everybody's buttocks are on their knees), do you really think any of the shit you're wearing honestly looks GOOD? Like piercings. Earrings I can tolerate, but who the hell was the first guy who looked at a piece of metal and said, "hey, this looks like the kind of thing that I'd like to cut a hole in my face for". Really. Piercings anywhere other than your ears look REALLY FUCKING STUPID. There's no other way to put it.

Same thing goes for tattoos. Again, tattoos are the kind of thing that COULD be alright if used in moderation, but some people feel the need to PUT A FUCKING PAINTING ALL OVER THEIR ARMS, LEGS, AND ON THEIR GODDAMN BACK. COME ON PEOPLE IF YOU LIKE THE PICTURE THAT BAD JUST GET SOME ARTIST TO PAINT IT AND HANG IT ON YOUR FUCKING WALL HOW IS IT DOING ANY GOOD ON YOUR BACK ANYWAYS YOU CAN'T EVEN SEE THIS APPARENT IMMACULATE PIECE OF ART YOU LOVE SO MUCH SO WHAT'S THE FUCKING POINT??? To "turn your individual persona into a visual concept" or some bullshit like that? Please. Spare me your pithy attempts at dragging yourself out of mediocrity.

And some of the clothes I witness people wear on a daily basis...holy crap. All the bright, contrasting colors on the shirts, shorts, shoes, and backpacks given me a FRIGGIN SEIZURE. Colors like pink, orange, light green and light blue are NOT meant to all be used in one "outfit" or worse, one article of clothing. ESPECIALLY not when a guy does it. I give a bit of leeway to all the ladies here (and the clothing they wear in general), because looking "good", is a natural kind of thing for them. Same way giving an impression of machismo and charisma is common amongst males. These things aren't stereotypes, they're primal instincts (hell, even I do the macho-crap from time to time) that are exemplified frequently in the animal kingdom. It doesn't separate the genders in any way, so please don't start foaming at the mouth over my nonexistent sexism.
But if I ever see a guy wearing blue, pink, orange and green all at once, I'll flip my shit. IT DOES NOT LOOK GOOD. YOU LOOK LIKE A TRANSVESTITE RAINBOW. PLEASE GO SOMEWHERE WHERE THE GENERAL PUBLIC CANNOT VIEW YOU. LIKE SOME DESERT ISLAND WHERE I'M SURE YOU'LL ATTEMPT TO FONDLE YOUR OWN BALLS WITH YOUR TONGUE OUT OF BOREDOM.

Dear lord. Long story short: Anybody who thinks that their clothing is anything more than something used to cover up their no-no places and provide warmth or comfort is a twat, but ahead and wear clothing you like or stuff you think looks "good" for all I care. But just so you know: clothing does not express individualism any more than posting shitty vlogs on youtube makes you a filmmaker. I wear bandshirts and jeans not because I think it's my "style" or it defines me as a person or something, but because I like the logos and the clothing is comfortable. The end.

RANDOM MUSIC FIND: A Canadian depressive black metal band called Gris. Yes, that's right. Confounding as it may be, there is indeed some depressive black metal out there that doesn't totally suck balls. Instead of the music being really fucking whiny and emo like Happy Days and other garbage of its ilk, these guys seem to have found solace in the melancholy of their music and are exploring the emotion in its purest form. Amazing, sobering stuff. Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwLw1twqz1w

That's all, folks. This has been your friendly neighborhood soul extraction for the day.