Monday, July 26, 2010
Nowhere Fast - Episode 1
This is the first in a series of movies I'm doing called Nowhere Fast. This, Episode 1, is basically an introduction and just explains what I'm wanting to do.
And yes, I know it's bad quality, but this was my first attempt at making a video like this and the tools and programs I had at my disposal were limited at best.
Anyway, hope you enjoy it. More to come.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Review Numero Dos
This is the second review I'm putting up on here. It's also on metal-archives, and on facebook, cause...well, I want people to read my crap. It also gives the blog some content, I suppose. I'm not going to be posting only reviews on here, but for now all I've been doing recently is reviewing music, so that's all you're gonna be seeing from be for the time being.
NEKRO KHAOS - RITES OF THE BLACK MASS (2/100)
If there’s one thing I hate in my beloved genre of black metal, it’s the words that mock the black metal clichés. Anybody who’s visited a metal forum for more than 5 minutes can pretty much name all of them off by heart: “tr00” “kvlt” “nekro” “grim” and so forth. I hate the words, I hate anybody that uses them in jest (when they’re used in jokes it’s NEVER funny, by the way) and I want anybody who utters them to die a horrible violent death, or at the very least have their vocal chords ripped out. So you can imagine I’m not exactly given a good first impression by a band named Nekro Khaos, complete with intentional misspellings. Seriously, dude, there weren’t any fucking Darkthrone or Immortal song titles you could have used? That’s not even the worst part though. This guy’s “stage name” so to say, is “Death4u”.
Yes, you heard me correctly. Death4u. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? Why in the sweet unholy mother of FUCK would anybody who’s trying to seriously start a band think that would be a GOOD idea? Dear god, the reason the assholes that dismiss the black metal scene because they think it’s a joke are never going to go away because we’ve got people like THIS clown running around, spreading every single stereotype about black metal like it’s the bubonic plague. And, of course, what kind of music do we get from a black metal band that is stereotypical to the logical extreme in its image? Why, a shitty, stereotypical Darkthrone clone, of course! Although, I hesitate to call this a “clone”, because that would mean that the band bears close resemblance to Darkthrone, which doesn’t really work because Darkthrone actually sounds good.
Being a shameless clone of Darkthrone, we can obviously expect this to have bad production. However, this isn’t even bad in the “raw and ugly as fuck” way, this is just flat-out bad. Now, usually the production isn’t that big of a deal to me, but when it’s as awful as it is in Rites of the Black Mass it deserves a mention. The drums are nearly inaudible. Yes, the drums. I don’t know how he managed to make the DRUMS inaudible, but he did. The vocals are pretty far back in the mix too, which means that the riffs here take the front seat. And man, talk about the lamest riffs I’ve ever heard in black metal. The guitar tone is lame by alternative rock standards and lacks any real crunch or power in it, and it doesn’t help that some of the riffs don’t even sound like black metal at all. Just listen to “Hail Sathanas”! it sounds like a fucking southern rock tune with some black metal screeching over it! Now, I’m not saying that some of the songs should be dismissed on the grounds that they don’t sound like black metal, (because, frankly, that would be rather retarded) they should be dismissed because they’re plodding, effortless shit. And it’s not like the riffs that sound remotely like black metal are any better, anyways. To get an idea of what they sound like, take all the worst elements of both second-wave black metal and USBM and combine them into one big, corpsepainted shit sandwich. At times, it’s kind of reminiscent of, say, De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas, but with all the aggression drained. Other times it sounds like, say, Xasthur or something, but, as much as Xasthur sucks, there is a sense of…despondency in the music; it gives off a feeling of negativity. (Although that might just be me getting angry at the music because it blows, who knows?) And that is what separates the two. While the music tries to evoke a feeling of sadness, it fails so hard that it ends up giving off vague feelings of negativity which resemble…boredom. This quite literally sounds like the musical representation of boredom. It’s negative; but the atmosphere doesn’t have nearly a strong enough effect to represent any extreme emotion.
There are some good points to this album, though. The intro and outro pieces, despite being lazy imitations of Alcest, are somewhat pleasant, I suppose. The vocals might be okay if they weren’t electronically altered to oblivion…ah, fuck it. I’m really grasping for straws here, there really isn’t anything on this album that anyone would find remotely enjoyable in the slightest. Usually when people say that, it tends to reek of hyperbole, but when I say it here I mean it in the most literal sense possible. There is nothing on here that makes you bang your head or feel any emotions or do much else than cringe in disgust. Fuck this album, fuck this band, fuck “Death4u” (my god it’s even embarrassing to fucking WRITE that name) and even though I haven’t heard any of this guy’s other “projects”, fuck them too. Rites of the Black Mass is a pus-filled pimple on the ass of black metal and should be either avoided at all costs, or listened to and ridiculed due to its intense sucking. I feel guilty for giving this album two whole points.
NEKRO KHAOS - RITES OF THE BLACK MASS (2/100)
If there’s one thing I hate in my beloved genre of black metal, it’s the words that mock the black metal clichés. Anybody who’s visited a metal forum for more than 5 minutes can pretty much name all of them off by heart: “tr00” “kvlt” “nekro” “grim” and so forth. I hate the words, I hate anybody that uses them in jest (when they’re used in jokes it’s NEVER funny, by the way) and I want anybody who utters them to die a horrible violent death, or at the very least have their vocal chords ripped out. So you can imagine I’m not exactly given a good first impression by a band named Nekro Khaos, complete with intentional misspellings. Seriously, dude, there weren’t any fucking Darkthrone or Immortal song titles you could have used? That’s not even the worst part though. This guy’s “stage name” so to say, is “Death4u”.
Yes, you heard me correctly. Death4u. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? Why in the sweet unholy mother of FUCK would anybody who’s trying to seriously start a band think that would be a GOOD idea? Dear god, the reason the assholes that dismiss the black metal scene because they think it’s a joke are never going to go away because we’ve got people like THIS clown running around, spreading every single stereotype about black metal like it’s the bubonic plague. And, of course, what kind of music do we get from a black metal band that is stereotypical to the logical extreme in its image? Why, a shitty, stereotypical Darkthrone clone, of course! Although, I hesitate to call this a “clone”, because that would mean that the band bears close resemblance to Darkthrone, which doesn’t really work because Darkthrone actually sounds good.
Being a shameless clone of Darkthrone, we can obviously expect this to have bad production. However, this isn’t even bad in the “raw and ugly as fuck” way, this is just flat-out bad. Now, usually the production isn’t that big of a deal to me, but when it’s as awful as it is in Rites of the Black Mass it deserves a mention. The drums are nearly inaudible. Yes, the drums. I don’t know how he managed to make the DRUMS inaudible, but he did. The vocals are pretty far back in the mix too, which means that the riffs here take the front seat. And man, talk about the lamest riffs I’ve ever heard in black metal. The guitar tone is lame by alternative rock standards and lacks any real crunch or power in it, and it doesn’t help that some of the riffs don’t even sound like black metal at all. Just listen to “Hail Sathanas”! it sounds like a fucking southern rock tune with some black metal screeching over it! Now, I’m not saying that some of the songs should be dismissed on the grounds that they don’t sound like black metal, (because, frankly, that would be rather retarded) they should be dismissed because they’re plodding, effortless shit. And it’s not like the riffs that sound remotely like black metal are any better, anyways. To get an idea of what they sound like, take all the worst elements of both second-wave black metal and USBM and combine them into one big, corpsepainted shit sandwich. At times, it’s kind of reminiscent of, say, De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas, but with all the aggression drained. Other times it sounds like, say, Xasthur or something, but, as much as Xasthur sucks, there is a sense of…despondency in the music; it gives off a feeling of negativity. (Although that might just be me getting angry at the music because it blows, who knows?) And that is what separates the two. While the music tries to evoke a feeling of sadness, it fails so hard that it ends up giving off vague feelings of negativity which resemble…boredom. This quite literally sounds like the musical representation of boredom. It’s negative; but the atmosphere doesn’t have nearly a strong enough effect to represent any extreme emotion.
There are some good points to this album, though. The intro and outro pieces, despite being lazy imitations of Alcest, are somewhat pleasant, I suppose. The vocals might be okay if they weren’t electronically altered to oblivion…ah, fuck it. I’m really grasping for straws here, there really isn’t anything on this album that anyone would find remotely enjoyable in the slightest. Usually when people say that, it tends to reek of hyperbole, but when I say it here I mean it in the most literal sense possible. There is nothing on here that makes you bang your head or feel any emotions or do much else than cringe in disgust. Fuck this album, fuck this band, fuck “Death4u” (my god it’s even embarrassing to fucking WRITE that name) and even though I haven’t heard any of this guy’s other “projects”, fuck them too. Rites of the Black Mass is a pus-filled pimple on the ass of black metal and should be either avoided at all costs, or listened to and ridiculed due to its intense sucking. I feel guilty for giving this album two whole points.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
ModNation Racers Review
Hey, Trigger here. I thought I'd post a review of something on here like my co-poster, but I haven't bought any new albums lately, so I figured I'd just go with a game. A few days ago, I received ModNation Racers on PS3. Those who've seen promotional material for the game or have been following it in different media will already know this, but this game is basically Mario Kart and LittleBigPlanet put together, but directed at a slightly older audience. What results is, well...you'll read about it below. My reviews are only out of 10, because...well, just because that's how I do them, but the game has been split up into several areas for convenience.
ModNation Racers (Platform: PS3)
First Impression: 10/10
Minutes after booting up the disc, I get the feeling I'm in for a fun ride. The world of ModNation Racers (or MNR, for convenience) is colourful, entertaining, and well-planned. The game eases in new players and introduces them to the key features of the gameplay and the menu right of the bat, while the dialogue is lighthearted and funny while loaded with sarcasm and wit. Even with the basic starting creation tools, I quickly create my own avatar, or Mod, and his matching Kart. This brings me to the next point.
Customization: 9/10
One of the big draws of this game is the customization tools. Drawing from the success of LittleBigPlanet, this game gives you the tools to make your own players, vehicles, and even race tracks, and share them with the world. The track creation tools, though I have yet to try them, promise to be simple enough to create basic levels with ease, but detailed enough so that those who want to spend time making something amazing can do so. The Mod and Kart customization tools are equally detailed, but can be time-consuming to use and can be cumbersome if you don't know what you're trying to create. Overall, though, I was impressed with the smoothness of the interface.
Gameplay: 8/10
The gameplay is MNR's greatest asset and its greatest weakness at the same time. The controls are different from previous kart racers and take some time to get used to, but feel surprisingly intuitive after a few races. The single-player Career Mode spans a couple hours for basic completion, and is highly enjoyable. However, each race has additional secondary objectives, such as drifting a certain amount or getting so much airtime, that allow you to unlock new customization tools for Mods, Karts, and tracks. My one complaint, and it is a bit large, is that the game can get incredibly difficult at times, especially when trying to get the secondary objectives. The AI drivers will pound you into the dust relentlessly, and it takes some time to get used to balancing boosting, shielding, and trying to fight back, all while trying to stay on the course. Those familiar with Mario Kart should have a slightly smoother transition, but the races can get pretty hectic.
Multiplayer: 10/10
The multiplayer, both online and offline, is where MNR truly shines. Capable of up to four-player splitscreen races, it's easy to challenge your friends and enemies to a race. When going online, the experience feels smooth and simple, and it's noticeably more fun racing against real people than against computers. A minor issue is the loading times, which can be quite long in some cases, but on a whole they were reasonable.
Graphics: 10/10
MNR knows what it is: a cartoony kart racer. It doesn't try to be anything else, especially when it comes to graphics. The animation is done very well, and everything seemed to look the way it should. That's really all there is to say on the matter.
Sound: 9/10
Again, MNR doesn't try to be anything but cartoony. The sound effects, such as explosions and zaps, aren't incredibly serious, but seem to fit right in. The voices for main characters in the single-player campaign are spot-on, and the dialogue itself was done masterfully. The only problem seemed to be in the soundtrack department. The game seems to only have about three songs to play, which it cycles at random. While the songs themselves are pretty catchy and are often covered up by the general "oh-my-god-how-the-hell-am-I-still-alive" of the races, they did grow a little repetitive as time went on.
Overall: 9/10
ModNation Racers is a great game with a few minor flaws which you can easily look past. While the single-player may be a bit difficult at times, you can always turn to the multiplayer for some awesome racing. The grapics and sound hold up just as well, and the customization tools are fun and easy to use. While it may not be as kid-friendly as the old games were, in my opinion, this is just the rejuvenation kart racing games need.
ModNation Racers (Platform: PS3)
First Impression: 10/10
Minutes after booting up the disc, I get the feeling I'm in for a fun ride. The world of ModNation Racers (or MNR, for convenience) is colourful, entertaining, and well-planned. The game eases in new players and introduces them to the key features of the gameplay and the menu right of the bat, while the dialogue is lighthearted and funny while loaded with sarcasm and wit. Even with the basic starting creation tools, I quickly create my own avatar, or Mod, and his matching Kart. This brings me to the next point.
Customization: 9/10
One of the big draws of this game is the customization tools. Drawing from the success of LittleBigPlanet, this game gives you the tools to make your own players, vehicles, and even race tracks, and share them with the world. The track creation tools, though I have yet to try them, promise to be simple enough to create basic levels with ease, but detailed enough so that those who want to spend time making something amazing can do so. The Mod and Kart customization tools are equally detailed, but can be time-consuming to use and can be cumbersome if you don't know what you're trying to create. Overall, though, I was impressed with the smoothness of the interface.
Gameplay: 8/10
The gameplay is MNR's greatest asset and its greatest weakness at the same time. The controls are different from previous kart racers and take some time to get used to, but feel surprisingly intuitive after a few races. The single-player Career Mode spans a couple hours for basic completion, and is highly enjoyable. However, each race has additional secondary objectives, such as drifting a certain amount or getting so much airtime, that allow you to unlock new customization tools for Mods, Karts, and tracks. My one complaint, and it is a bit large, is that the game can get incredibly difficult at times, especially when trying to get the secondary objectives. The AI drivers will pound you into the dust relentlessly, and it takes some time to get used to balancing boosting, shielding, and trying to fight back, all while trying to stay on the course. Those familiar with Mario Kart should have a slightly smoother transition, but the races can get pretty hectic.
Multiplayer: 10/10
The multiplayer, both online and offline, is where MNR truly shines. Capable of up to four-player splitscreen races, it's easy to challenge your friends and enemies to a race. When going online, the experience feels smooth and simple, and it's noticeably more fun racing against real people than against computers. A minor issue is the loading times, which can be quite long in some cases, but on a whole they were reasonable.
Graphics: 10/10
MNR knows what it is: a cartoony kart racer. It doesn't try to be anything else, especially when it comes to graphics. The animation is done very well, and everything seemed to look the way it should. That's really all there is to say on the matter.
Sound: 9/10
Again, MNR doesn't try to be anything but cartoony. The sound effects, such as explosions and zaps, aren't incredibly serious, but seem to fit right in. The voices for main characters in the single-player campaign are spot-on, and the dialogue itself was done masterfully. The only problem seemed to be in the soundtrack department. The game seems to only have about three songs to play, which it cycles at random. While the songs themselves are pretty catchy and are often covered up by the general "oh-my-god-how-the-hell-am-I-still-alive" of the races, they did grow a little repetitive as time went on.
Overall: 9/10
ModNation Racers is a great game with a few minor flaws which you can easily look past. While the single-player may be a bit difficult at times, you can always turn to the multiplayer for some awesome racing. The grapics and sound hold up just as well, and the customization tools are fun and easy to use. While it may not be as kid-friendly as the old games were, in my opinion, this is just the rejuvenation kart racing games need.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Different Ideas
As you can tell by SoulExtractor's post below, he has very a very strong affinity for metal music. As you may or may not know, I do not very much like metal music. SoulExtractor has a very strong opinion about this fact, too.
I personally prefer punk and alternative rock, while I am more recently moving towards ska and indie rock. My favourite artists, though constantly changing, are probably illScarlett, Flobots, Chewing on Tinfoil, the Arrogant Sons of Bitches, Streetlight Manifesto, and Vampire Weekend. I also don't mind some Foo Fighters or Hedley if I'm in the mood for it. These are obviously quite different preferences from my co-writer, so the obvious question is: how do two people with such different musical tastes get along?
The short answer: we don't.
Let me clarify. We're actually really good friends, and we can agree on most things, but music isn't one of them. We each have our preferences, and for the most part we stick to them. Every once in a while, one of us will stumble upon something we think the other should hear and will send it their way, and they'll give it a listen, but most often the response is "good, but not really my thing", from both parties.
The point is, even though we have different ideas of what is good music, we both have the same basic idea of what music itself is. We both seek the same things from the songs we listen to, and we both find them, just in different places. So, in the end, our preferences really aren't that different after all.
I personally prefer punk and alternative rock, while I am more recently moving towards ska and indie rock. My favourite artists, though constantly changing, are probably illScarlett, Flobots, Chewing on Tinfoil, the Arrogant Sons of Bitches, Streetlight Manifesto, and Vampire Weekend. I also don't mind some Foo Fighters or Hedley if I'm in the mood for it. These are obviously quite different preferences from my co-writer, so the obvious question is: how do two people with such different musical tastes get along?
The short answer: we don't.
Let me clarify. We're actually really good friends, and we can agree on most things, but music isn't one of them. We each have our preferences, and for the most part we stick to them. Every once in a while, one of us will stumble upon something we think the other should hear and will send it their way, and they'll give it a listen, but most often the response is "good, but not really my thing", from both parties.
The point is, even though we have different ideas of what is good music, we both have the same basic idea of what music itself is. We both seek the same things from the songs we listen to, and we both find them, just in different places. So, in the end, our preferences really aren't that different after all.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
You know what?
A MOTHERFUCKING ALBUM REVIEW, THAT'S WHAT.
Yup, I wrote album reviews for a while back, but kinda stopped for a little bit cause I grew tired of trying to sound like a scholar when I wrote them. Now, i've adapted a more "casual" writing style, and it makes the review a lot easier to write. Enjoy, if you must.
DIE APOKALYPTISCHEN REITER- LICHT (86/100)
Every now and then, the spirit of rock n’ roll will quell down in me. I’ll start looking down upon it, seeing those who partake in it as a bunch of simple-minded buffoons. I’ll become more reclusive, and listen to Silencer and Lifelover and Drudkh and bands that have “deep spiritual meaning” or some tomfoolery along those lines. I will hate any music that sounds in any way the slightest bit accessible.
And then a band like Die Apokayptischen Reiter comes along and blows my genitals off, leaves my head throbbing and neck sore, and reminds me what heavy fucking metal is all about. Holy shit, these guys have more balls than a dumpster after a mass castration ceremony.
While I’ve only heard bits and pieces form their earlier works, I can still easily tell that this is a helluva lot different from albums such as All You Need is Love. While that album was more of a straight-up melodic death metal dog that sniffed a little bit around the folk-metal fire hydrants but never really took a long piss on them, Licht is some good old fashioned rock n’ roll at its core. Sure, all the folk metal, melodeath and traditional metal influences are all very present, but it’s still a very simplistic, formulaic, hard-rockish album. Is that a bad thing by any means? FUCK NO IT’S NOT! Well, it can be in some cases, but Die Apokalyptischen Reiter play with such energy and charisma that it’s not a problem in the slightest. This album is dripping with gallons, of pure, unadulterated testosterone. I swear, I could fucking SMELL it coming out of my speakers.
Now, playing your music loud and proud can be a really bad thing if your music blows goat dick, because then any problems your songs had become much more audible to even the casual listener. But fear not, my readers, because the songs on Licht are catchy like a motherfucker. Just listen to those choruses on “Es Wird Schlimmer” “Auf Die Liebe” or “Der Weg” (I could pretty much namedrop all the songs on the album) and tell me you can’t sing along to them, even if you don’t speak German. You can’t. They’re irresistible. And even if you were to remove the choruses, there’s still some solid riffing to be found here. They’re sound most like hard rock/classic metal riffs with a folksy tinge about them, and they accentuate the choruses well and fill the necessary roles for the guitar.
And if all THAT wasn’t good enough, the vocals kick ass too! The vocalist has this harsh tone to his voice that reminds me of Blind Guardian to a certain extent, except this guy has a lower register. Now, we all know Hansi’s voice is good enough to masturbate to, so having vocals similar to his in any way is always a good thing. While his somewhat half-assed attempts at harsh vocals (most noticeable at the beginning of “Es Wird Schlimmer”) aren’t all that spectacular, they only pop up a few times on the album, so one can expel them from their memory with ease.
Despite Licht being a great, catchy, fun listen, there’s no denying its commercial, non-metal tendencies. As mentioned before, this doesn’t really affect how I view the album much, because these guys play with so much passion and conviction that it’s easy to ignore. HOWEVER- there is one aspect of he album I would like to bitch about, and that would be the ballads. Songs like “Nach Der Ebbe” and “Der Elende” don’t really do anything for me, because all the energy that is usually overflowing out of every single orifice of Die Apokalyptischen Reiter has been drained from those songs, leaving a lame, plodding, pseudo-emotional pile of drivel. Like those dumbass jocks you knew in high school, these guys are only really good at conveying one emotion- anger and energy- and anything else they try isn’t all that great. It’s tolerable at the very least, but it sounds worse in comparison when held up beside all the other awesome songs on this album.
Is Licht an album filled with complex, intricate music? Nope. Does it have “deeper messages” within it that you must discover through several listens and a serious evaluation of the music? Nope. Is it a dark, vicious slab of pure evil from the depths of hell? Nope. Is it an infectious, testosterone-driven album of heavy fucking metal? YOU BETTER FUCKING BELIEVE IT. This album rapes all the suicidal black metal kiddies so hard they bleed out their microscopic dicks. Recommended.
Yup, I wrote album reviews for a while back, but kinda stopped for a little bit cause I grew tired of trying to sound like a scholar when I wrote them. Now, i've adapted a more "casual" writing style, and it makes the review a lot easier to write. Enjoy, if you must.
DIE APOKALYPTISCHEN REITER- LICHT (86/100)
Every now and then, the spirit of rock n’ roll will quell down in me. I’ll start looking down upon it, seeing those who partake in it as a bunch of simple-minded buffoons. I’ll become more reclusive, and listen to Silencer and Lifelover and Drudkh and bands that have “deep spiritual meaning” or some tomfoolery along those lines. I will hate any music that sounds in any way the slightest bit accessible.
And then a band like Die Apokayptischen Reiter comes along and blows my genitals off, leaves my head throbbing and neck sore, and reminds me what heavy fucking metal is all about. Holy shit, these guys have more balls than a dumpster after a mass castration ceremony.
While I’ve only heard bits and pieces form their earlier works, I can still easily tell that this is a helluva lot different from albums such as All You Need is Love. While that album was more of a straight-up melodic death metal dog that sniffed a little bit around the folk-metal fire hydrants but never really took a long piss on them, Licht is some good old fashioned rock n’ roll at its core. Sure, all the folk metal, melodeath and traditional metal influences are all very present, but it’s still a very simplistic, formulaic, hard-rockish album. Is that a bad thing by any means? FUCK NO IT’S NOT! Well, it can be in some cases, but Die Apokalyptischen Reiter play with such energy and charisma that it’s not a problem in the slightest. This album is dripping with gallons, of pure, unadulterated testosterone. I swear, I could fucking SMELL it coming out of my speakers.
Now, playing your music loud and proud can be a really bad thing if your music blows goat dick, because then any problems your songs had become much more audible to even the casual listener. But fear not, my readers, because the songs on Licht are catchy like a motherfucker. Just listen to those choruses on “Es Wird Schlimmer” “Auf Die Liebe” or “Der Weg” (I could pretty much namedrop all the songs on the album) and tell me you can’t sing along to them, even if you don’t speak German. You can’t. They’re irresistible. And even if you were to remove the choruses, there’s still some solid riffing to be found here. They’re sound most like hard rock/classic metal riffs with a folksy tinge about them, and they accentuate the choruses well and fill the necessary roles for the guitar.
And if all THAT wasn’t good enough, the vocals kick ass too! The vocalist has this harsh tone to his voice that reminds me of Blind Guardian to a certain extent, except this guy has a lower register. Now, we all know Hansi’s voice is good enough to masturbate to, so having vocals similar to his in any way is always a good thing. While his somewhat half-assed attempts at harsh vocals (most noticeable at the beginning of “Es Wird Schlimmer”) aren’t all that spectacular, they only pop up a few times on the album, so one can expel them from their memory with ease.
Despite Licht being a great, catchy, fun listen, there’s no denying its commercial, non-metal tendencies. As mentioned before, this doesn’t really affect how I view the album much, because these guys play with so much passion and conviction that it’s easy to ignore. HOWEVER- there is one aspect of he album I would like to bitch about, and that would be the ballads. Songs like “Nach Der Ebbe” and “Der Elende” don’t really do anything for me, because all the energy that is usually overflowing out of every single orifice of Die Apokalyptischen Reiter has been drained from those songs, leaving a lame, plodding, pseudo-emotional pile of drivel. Like those dumbass jocks you knew in high school, these guys are only really good at conveying one emotion- anger and energy- and anything else they try isn’t all that great. It’s tolerable at the very least, but it sounds worse in comparison when held up beside all the other awesome songs on this album.
Is Licht an album filled with complex, intricate music? Nope. Does it have “deeper messages” within it that you must discover through several listens and a serious evaluation of the music? Nope. Is it a dark, vicious slab of pure evil from the depths of hell? Nope. Is it an infectious, testosterone-driven album of heavy fucking metal? YOU BETTER FUCKING BELIEVE IT. This album rapes all the suicidal black metal kiddies so hard they bleed out their microscopic dicks. Recommended.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
This is a strange and new place to me...
Greetings! I'm new. As you may have guessed. Or not. Well, either way, now you know.
I'm SoulExtractor. I shall be known by no other name. I have been invited to write for this blog by a comrade of mine, Trigger, and goddammit if I won't write for it.
I figure it would kill some time if I told you some useless facts about myself. Here goes.
First and foremost: I love heavy metal. Fuckin' love it. Like, if the music genre had a physical form I would make sweet, passionate love to it. Get in the way of my metal and you're a dead man. (I say man because I know no girls are reading this because girls aren't allowed on the internet.) My favorites of the subgenres are black and power, but I dabble around the whole spectrum of metal as well. Favorite bands include: Agalloch, Blind Guardian, Dismember, Katatonia, Sepultura, Insomnium, and Gorod.
Other genres worth listening to are dark ambient, post-rock and progressive rock. Maybe a bit of jazz. Everything else sucks. Period.
I'm a pseudo-intellectual, pretentious asshole because I'm better than you. I tend to be a little "off-key" and "spacey" at times, even though I don't have ADD. Also I often make ridiculous analogies that go nowhere.
That's pretty much all I really feel like saying. Anything else you want to know about my character, you'll eventually find out as I post more shit.
This should be an interesting way to kill time. Let's see how it works out.
I'm SoulExtractor. I shall be known by no other name. I have been invited to write for this blog by a comrade of mine, Trigger, and goddammit if I won't write for it.
I figure it would kill some time if I told you some useless facts about myself. Here goes.
First and foremost: I love heavy metal. Fuckin' love it. Like, if the music genre had a physical form I would make sweet, passionate love to it. Get in the way of my metal and you're a dead man. (I say man because I know no girls are reading this because girls aren't allowed on the internet.) My favorites of the subgenres are black and power, but I dabble around the whole spectrum of metal as well. Favorite bands include: Agalloch, Blind Guardian, Dismember, Katatonia, Sepultura, Insomnium, and Gorod.
Other genres worth listening to are dark ambient, post-rock and progressive rock. Maybe a bit of jazz. Everything else sucks. Period.
I'm a pseudo-intellectual, pretentious asshole because I'm better than you. I tend to be a little "off-key" and "spacey" at times, even though I don't have ADD. Also I often make ridiculous analogies that go nowhere.
That's pretty much all I really feel like saying. Anything else you want to know about my character, you'll eventually find out as I post more shit.
This should be an interesting way to kill time. Let's see how it works out.
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Nobody Puts Out the Fire
I was feeling rather cynical today, so I wrote this. Yes, it is poetry. It's kinda long, but I'm relatively proud of it. Enjoy. Or don't. Either way is fine.
Nobody Puts Out the Fire
The world is burning
Terrorists drop H-bombs and F-bombs overseas and on the streets
While government pigs and corporate rats make their peace with war
Sell-outs plan buyouts to boost our cocaine economy of quick fixes and slow deaths
While switchblade diplomacy has its way with the world
But nobody puts out the fire
Phisherman cast their lines into the silicon ocean
While surgeons dive in to find the secrets of aesthetic deception
The unwashed masses chase the neon sunrise in our world’s twilight
While the upper echelons plot your demise while begging for your attention
They use attack ads and smear campaigns to pollute our minds
And send out salespeople to negotiate for our willing surrender
But nobody puts out the fire
Citizens lay their hands on the table to pick up their weapons
While friendly fire rains bad luck and indecency on innocent children
Their mothers hide behind lies and pornographic memories
Using the past in the present to find false hope for a real problem
But the truth is guarded with machineguns and optimism by the overlords and underdogs
Who will do anything for your support except that which is supportable
But nobody puts out the fire
Federal leaders scream allegiance to whoever’s holding the wallet or the gun
While their political disc jockeys turn tables and burn books
And throw money at failing industries with captains who refuse to go down with the ship
We see what they want us to see and live inside their green screens and barbed wire fences
The puppetry behind the scenes remains undiscovered but not unsuspected
But our attention is divided by the glowing televisions and shining stars
Pop culture crams disbelief and lies down our throats, and we’re coughing up delusions
But nobody puts out the fire
Yes, the world is burning
The ignition switch was flipped in an autocratic decision by our collective lack of consciousness
While the fuel is our regrets and misgivings, fattened by the words of our gods
The world is burning
But nobody puts out the fire
***
Well, hope you liked it. Feel free to comment on it if you want.
Nobody Puts Out the Fire
The world is burning
Terrorists drop H-bombs and F-bombs overseas and on the streets
While government pigs and corporate rats make their peace with war
Sell-outs plan buyouts to boost our cocaine economy of quick fixes and slow deaths
While switchblade diplomacy has its way with the world
But nobody puts out the fire
Phisherman cast their lines into the silicon ocean
While surgeons dive in to find the secrets of aesthetic deception
The unwashed masses chase the neon sunrise in our world’s twilight
While the upper echelons plot your demise while begging for your attention
They use attack ads and smear campaigns to pollute our minds
And send out salespeople to negotiate for our willing surrender
But nobody puts out the fire
Citizens lay their hands on the table to pick up their weapons
While friendly fire rains bad luck and indecency on innocent children
Their mothers hide behind lies and pornographic memories
Using the past in the present to find false hope for a real problem
But the truth is guarded with machineguns and optimism by the overlords and underdogs
Who will do anything for your support except that which is supportable
But nobody puts out the fire
Federal leaders scream allegiance to whoever’s holding the wallet or the gun
While their political disc jockeys turn tables and burn books
And throw money at failing industries with captains who refuse to go down with the ship
We see what they want us to see and live inside their green screens and barbed wire fences
The puppetry behind the scenes remains undiscovered but not unsuspected
But our attention is divided by the glowing televisions and shining stars
Pop culture crams disbelief and lies down our throats, and we’re coughing up delusions
But nobody puts out the fire
Yes, the world is burning
The ignition switch was flipped in an autocratic decision by our collective lack of consciousness
While the fuel is our regrets and misgivings, fattened by the words of our gods
The world is burning
But nobody puts out the fire
***
Well, hope you liked it. Feel free to comment on it if you want.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
FREEEEEDOOOM!
So, it's July 1st, and as you can probably tell, my posting has been less frequent than would be intended. That being said, since it's now summer and I don't have to go to school for two months (cue rampant cheering) I'm hoping to be doing some more. As it stands, everything's been going great, and I'm hoping to be able to bring in all kinds of different content to keep people up to date about what's going on. I'll try to make it a habit to post about once every one or two weeks or so, just to keep things simple. Keep checking back for new posts!
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