Stuff to Look At

So, Here You Are

Welcome to Ten Minutes to Nowhere, a notepad for ideas, thoughts, and just plain randomness for you to read as much as you want.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Oh hey, it's me.

Good observation, title. I drew this like a week ago and just haven't felt like uploading it until this very moment. Which is kind of annoying, because I just got back from trick-or-treating and I'm kinda tired. bleh. BUT IMMA POST AND IMMA LIKE IT GOSHDARNIT.

I basically drew this because 1) I made a really similar cartoony portrait of my friend Erica and decided I wanted one for me too and 2) I wanted to practice the angle where I'm looking over my shoulder. I just think it's a really awesome angle mmkay don't judge me.

Speaking of the Ericadrawing, which I don't feel like putting on here, (It's on my other blog which I don't feel like linking to) the colours on that one are a little more...well...coloury. It's because I scanned this one in grayscale at 600 resolution and the other one in colour at 300 resolution. In retrospect, I should have done what I did on the other one because that kind of sepia-toneish glow looks super purdy.

Also, here we see me in a shirt that I would probably not wear in everyday life. Why? Because it's the only type of shirt I can draw and get right from this angle. I'm just experimenting with it right now. Jeepers. And it's not like I've been really into drawing my whole life, either...I've always enjoyed it, but I never really cared about sharing my stuff until I started getting into webcomics.

Speaking of which, I was Lucy from BCB for Halloween :3 My official story was being a white kitty. But I wanna show the BCB people pics and maybe they'll worship me or something.

I'm gunna sign off because I should sleep. Screw you all and goodnight.

Sunday, October 31, 2010

I would have rather shoved my ass up my ass then watch this movie

Paranormal Activities 2. Could it have blown anymore camel cock! I mean like really the first 45 minutes of the movie was absolutely nothingness! The only good part in that movie was when the guy said he need to release the cracken and then took a shit. And if that is the only good part in a movie then you know it must stank more than a pedo dinosaur that just game out of a bath tub full of mustard and aged walrus jizz. (aka Barney) The genre should have been comedy considering me and the entire audience were almost in tears from laughter from the fakeness of movie. i have never heard so many people say they wanted a refund after a movie. if you want a summary it was pretty much michael jacksons ghost trying to molest a little boy with a bit of falling pans, epic electric slide, and other random shart!

out of 10 i would give it a negative -6.5 if I'm being generous!

PineapplePie XD

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Bob and Jeff's Big Adventure

So...remember that post I made a while back where I talked about a new movie? A new movie that I refused to reveal more details about? A new movie that I claimed would cure cancer?

...well, maybe not that last one.

Anyway, it's finally here. Bob and Jeff's Big Adventure. You can watch it here, or go over to the Youtube channel if you happen to really like clicking and typing.



So yeah. Cliffhanger ending. That project required me to take over 900 pictures of Lego people. As you can tell, it could still be a lot better. "But Trigger!" I hear some of you shout. "Trigger! Will we ever see the thrilling conclusion? Will we ever find out what happens to Bob and Jeff?"

The answer? Yes. Yes, you will. It may not be tomorrow, it may not be the day after, but someday, I will finish up this video. I may even make more after that. Just know that this isn't the last you'll be seeing of Bob and Jeff.

Also, keep your eyes open for the rest of the stuff I mentioned in my last post. It'll be posted as soon as I get a chance, but right now I have to go make brownies.

- Keep going nowhere.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

UPCOMING CRAP

Since I haven't posted in a while, I thought I might just let y'all know that I am, in fact, still alive, and CRAP mid-sentence I just read Trigger's latest post and realized that it's quite a bit like this one will be. Ughh. Whatever.

dealwithit.gif

(I love saying that)

*cough*
Anyway. As I said, I'm still alive, and plan to continue staying alive while bringing the blog some exciting and wonderful additions. I'm not currently working on anything specifically for TMTN (and have little to no idea what I would do in that situation), but there's a few things in my queue (and 'done' pile in some cases) that would be fitting for it and that may be available in the future. INCLUDING:
  •  an eight-or-more-panel comic strip that I have to draw for my English class reading contract
  • some preparation sketches for said comic strip
  • A travel brochure for the Mortmain Mountains, also for reading contract
  • more of my songs, getting steadily crappier as time goes backwards (with a few exceptions)
  • a BCB Art Meme which may make no sense if you don't read the comic (Protip: READ IT)
  • a dialogue assignment for English that I'm actually super proud of
  • now that I think of it, any assignments that I did for Creative Writing last year as well that I like and can find
...that's all I can come up with at the moment. As for WHEN you might see these...Songs, assignments, and my sketches are already done, so expect to see those relatively soon. BCB Meme, comic, and brochure may only be available if and when I get a tablet (I mean, come on, I've been wandering around from person to person saying GIVE ME A FREAKEN TABLET NAO and my birthday and Christmas are coming up :3), so unless I have to suck it up and mouse-draw because people don't get me what I want, those won't exist for a while. (not until late November at the earliest.)

I can fill that space though
spacefillerspacefillerspacefiller
WATCH ME DO SO nyarhar

Whatever. I'm tired. It's really too late to be blogging.
Screw you all and goodnight.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

A very musical review

Broadway Moshpit here, with a CD review thats a bit late but oh well shut your mouth you all get enough CD reviews with metalhead here. :)

LAWNMOWER DEATH:
DEAR GOD THERES SO MUCH BLOOD EVERYWHERE (VOLUME VII)
44 sweaty Metallica shirts out of 50...

KIDDING!
I'm kidding. This isn't a metal review (although Lawnmower Death IS a real band- look it up). No, this is a soundtrack review ladies and gents. Thought it be a nice change of pace. :)

Scott Pilgrim VS. The World (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack):
A masterpiece for hipsters, semi-enjoyable for everyone else.
69/100
For anyone who saw Scott Pilgrim VS. The World, you know it was a quirky, comedic movie, being enjoyable for all the indie kids out there, and numerous others. I liked it personally because of all the video game references, and the fact that the secondary lead character was hilariously homosexual. But enough of that. The soundtrack for the movie features quite a few artists, more noteably the bands Metric, T-Rex, The Rolling Stones, and Beck. The other bands on there I've never heard of. Ah well. That's hipster for you.
Moving on, the CD also features music from Sex Bo-Omb, Scott Pilgrim's band in the movie. The first song on the Album by the band, (We are Sex Bo-Omb), is actually pretty decent. The guitar and bass bring forward a crunchy, gritty sound not yet heard, and it's quite refreshing. The only problem is that same creative sound gets a little less created every time you hear a new song by Sex Bo-Omb... because all their songs pretty much sound the same.
The rest of the soundtrack is decently agreeable, and there are a few funny bits, like the 12 second song by 'Crash and the Boys' which is just them crying "SOOOOO SAD!", and an 8-bit sega remix of a Sex Bo-Omb song.
Overall, this soundtrack isn't anything to cry home about, but if you're a die hard hipster, wearing those neon clothes and listening to bands that don't exist yet, by all mean, go and by it, you'll probably love it. As for all the rest of you stereotypes, I'd recommend borrowing it from said hipster friend.
Top Tracks: We Are Sex Bo-Omb, Black Sheep, Threshold (8-Bit)

Friday, October 15, 2010

I'm Just Such A Good Person

Looks like October's gonna be a great month for all of you readers out there. Coming to you soon, I'm gonna be bringing you all kinds of stuff to watch and read. There'll be a new edition of Reviews of Not So New Games, some more exciting impromptu awesomeness from Nathan vs. Communist Dictator, a cell phone video shot during a very boring Careers class one day, a new movie (if you want to know more, you'll have to wait until I upload it...which may be a week or two), and maybe even a new Nowhere Fast, all coming at you before Halloween. That's more new stuff than you can shake a stick at. Don't try, though.

I hope you'll bear in mind that these things take time, and my life is busy enough as it is. Even while writing this, I'm supposed to be making a Powerpoint for some volunteer work, but I'm currently ignoring that obligation to let you guys know what's going to be happening over the next little while. Add to this the fact that I've got several school projects on the go right now, and I don't think you can blame me if I occasionally have to put off working on the blog.

That being said, I'm gonna do my best to have all of the stuff mentioned above posted before October 31st, though it won't all be uploaded at once. More likely, I'll upload a new thing every few days or so. I think you'll agree that it's worth keeping an eye on this page for the next little while.

- Keep going nowhere.

Monday, October 11, 2010

NEW LOGO

We here at Ten Minutes to Nowhere now have a new logo! Now featuring the characters of all six Nowhere Writers! Check it out below!


So, in addition to those characters you already know, we have the two new additions of BroadwayMoshpit and Nikkoliah, seen here in the suit and green shirt, respectively, since I knew they wouldn't much appreciate it being implied that they were shirtless in this. BroadwayMoshpit is shown here with a stylish top hat, while Nikkoliah is sporing a perhaps even more stylish propeller cap.

Anyway, this is now our official profile pic on Facebook and Twitter, so if you needed a reason to check out either of those two pages, well.....actually, if you haven't done so already, I doubt this picture will make much of a difference. But check 'em out anyway.

Stories From Nowhere: Pokemon Battle

So, I'm again going to be starting up a new feature, this one called Stories From Nowhere. These will basically be whatever the hell I feel like posting, from rants to things that have happened to be, to god knows what. The first of these Stories From Nowhere is about a conversation SoulExtractor (Nathan) and I (Mitchell) had on MSN one day when we were both very bored. I came up with the idea of doing an impromptu text-based Pokemon battle, and this is the (unfinished) result. As of yet, the battle is still unfinished, but I'll post more of it once it gets completed. Keep in mind while you read this that this was entirely made up on the spot. None of it was planned out beforehand. So, without further ado, I give you: Nathan vs. Communist Dictator!


Mitchell says: 
> a wild COMMUNIST DICTATOR APPEARS 
> choose your pokémon! 
Nathan says: 
> umm...i choose VALIANT YET CLUMSY HERO! 
Mitchell says: 
> Trainer NATHAN uses VALIANT YET CLUMSY HERO! 
> COMMUNIST DICTATOR gets first move! 
> COMMUNIST DICTATOR uses GOVERNMENT PROPAGANDA! 
> it isn't very effective. 
> what will you do? 
Nathan says: 
> select attack: ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT 
Mitchell says: 
> VALIANT YET CLUMSY HERO uses attempts to assassinate COMMUNIST DICTATOR! 
> VALIANT YET CLUMSY HERO slips on an (in)conveniently placed BANANA PEEL! 
> VALIANT YET CLUMSY HERO sulks in a CORNER about his FAILURE! 
> COMMUNIST DICTATOR uses RALLYING SPEECH! 
> COMMUNIST DICTATOR's attack increases dramatically! 
> what will you do? 
Nathan says: 
> select attack: REBELLIOUS PROTEST 
Mitchell says: 
> VALIANT YET CLUMSY HERO uses REBELLIOUS PROTEST! 
> COMMUNIST DICTATOR auto-counters with CRUSHING MILITARY MIGHT, but MISSES! 
> CRITICAL HIT! 
> COMMUNIST DICTATOR loses 3796 HP! 
> COMMUNIST DICTATOR's current HP level: 6204/10000 
> COMMUNIST DICTATOR uses ICH BIN EIN KICKASS! 
> COMMUNIST DICTATOR executes a BRUTAL AFFRONT! 
> VALIANT YET CLUMSY HERO bears the brunt of the FATAL ATTACK using his MAIN CHARACTER STATUS! 
> what will you do? 
Nathan says: 
> select: GATHER A FOLLOWING OF FELLOW PROTESTERS 
Mitchell says: 
> VALIANT YET CLUMSY HERO uses GATHER A FOLLOWING OF FELLOW PROTESTORS! 
> your RAGTAG GROUP OF HIPPIES AND RAGAMUFFINS sits outside GOVERNMENTAL OFFICES and sings MONOTONOUS CHANTS concerning your MILD DISPLEASURE! 
> your PULCHRITUDE increases slightly. 
> COMMUNIST DICTATOR uses MILITARY CRACKDOWN! 
> it's super effective! 
> your RAGTAG GROUP OF HIPPIES AND RAGAMUFFINS has been defeated! 
> VALIANT BUT CLUMSY HERO takes MINIMAL DAMAGE! 
> what will you do? 
Nathan says: 
> Select: SET SELF ON FIRE IN PROTEST TO RALLY MORE FOLLOWERS 
> if it works for the zen buddhists, it'll work for me. 
Mitchell says: 
> VALIANT YET CLUMSY HERO uses SET SELF ON FIRE IN PROTEST TO RALLY MORE FOLLOWERS! 
> VALIANT YET CLUMSY HERO's MAIN CHARACTER STATUS laments VALIANT YET CLUMSY HERO's seemingly persistent ATTEMPTS TO KILL HIMSELF, but chalks it up to HORMONAL IMBALANCE! 
> the MAIN CHARACTER STATUS absorbs all of the damage from the DANGEROUS AND FIERY FIRE! 
> you do begin to feel an UNCOMFORTABLE RASH cropping up on your REAR END, however 
> in the meantime, FOLLOWERS flock to your position, ALLYING with you and TRIPLING your ATTACK 
> COMMUNIST DICTATOR's DEFENSE DECREASES as he EMPATHIZES with your EXTREME MEASURES 
> COMMUNIST DICTATOR uses EMOTIONAL MONOLOGUE! 
> his SYMPATHY-DRAWING PLEA FOR UNDERSTANDING confuses HALF OF YOUR FOLLOWERS. they will no longer respond to ORDERS. 
> what will you do? 
Nathan says: 
> I counter with RALLYING SPEECH THAT CRITICIZES COMMUNIST DICTATOR'S METHOD OF GOVERNING 
Mitchell says: 
> VALIANT YET CLUMSY HERO uses RALLYING SPEECH THAT....oh, you get the goddamn point 
Nathan says: 
> you coulda just copied and pasted. 
Mitchell says: 
> VALIANT YET CLUMSY HERO's counter FAILS because of the BREAKING OF THE FOURTH WALL 
Nathan says: 
> select: HIT ALL OPPOSED TO MY PROTESTS OVER HEAD WITH PICKET SIGNS 
Mitchell says: 
> VALIANT BUT CLUMSY HERO uses HIT ALL OPPOSED TO MY PROTESTS OVER HEAD WITH PICKET SIGNS! 
> as VALIANT YET CLUMSY HERO approaches the nearest NON-BELIEVER, the man pulls a GUN and POINTS IT CASUALLY IN THE HERO'S DIRECTION 
Nathan says: 
> OSHIT 
Mitchell says: 
> THE HERO DECIDES TO TARGET A NEARBY GRANNY INSTEAD. 
> GRANNY counters with EAT COOKIES, BITCH 
> VALIANT YET CLUMSY HERO suffers MINIMAL DAMAGE and GAINS SOME WEIGHT. 
> COMMUNIST DICTATOR spends his turn LOLLING AT VALIANT YET CLUMSY HERO's PREDICAMENT


* * *


There you have it. As you can tell, it's still very much unfinished, but the rest will be posted once an ending is reached.


- Keep going nowhere.


EDIT: I've figured out that copy-pasting really, really screws with the font on these post things. As it is, in order to get this post to actually show up in the normal colour., I had to change the text colour to white, so I can't see what I'm writing unless I highlight it. Even the size and type of the font got messed with. Rest assured that for the next time I try something like this, I'll figure something out, but for now I'm too lazy. Continuity can suck it.
DOUBLE EDIT: Managed to seemingly fix everything except for weird double line breaks, and this much I can live with. The text colour and font seem to have reverted, though as I'm typing this the font in the text box looks a little weird. I'll take it, though. Seems like the best I'm gonna get.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

METAL REVIEW: Evil Survives- Metal Vengeance (88/100)

I finally had enough dead time on my hands to get one of these reviews done. I really want to keep up the pace with my writing, but school and my laziness have kinda been bogging me down. Hopefully I'll get more of these done in the future, because there are a lot of really good albums out there that people should know about and a lot of shitty albums out there that I should warn people to avoid. Which reminds me. If you want me to review that one shitty album you love, feel free to drop me a line. Can't promise I'll be nice though. In fact, expect me to spew verbal venom about it....I'm kinda rambling here, so I'll just go right ahead and post the review.

EVIL SURVIVES--METAL VENGEANCE

If there’s one thing trad metal needs to have in order to be successful, it’s the rock n’ roll attitude. Whether a band exerts that attitude through their music or their image doesn’t matter, as long as it’s present. It’s pretty hard for any band to fail if they really put their all into playing their music, and that is inevitably the reason why Metal Vengeance is deserving of praise. Yes, it doesn’t always sound good, per se, but it never fails to keep you interested or entertained for the duration of the record. I liken it to bobbing for apples if you didn’t have any teeth. Sure, it’s really uncomfortable and awkward at times when you can’t exactly replicate what other people with teeth had done back in the day (Iron Maiden and Satan, to give a few easy examples) and you’re spilling water everywhere, but you’re having stupid fun the whole time and the rare occasion that you actually manage to pull out an apple is awe-inspiring.

What I meant behind that last analogy is that Evil Survives is sloppy as hell. The songwriting has all the coordination and subtlety of staggering drunk- everything on this album is in-your-face and everywhere at once. These guys jump from riff to riff almost suddenly, often throw choruses and solos out of nowhere, and have a vocalist that seems to be ad-libbing half the time. The bass twists and turns its way in and out of the forefront of the album in a stumbling, yet oddly interesting fashion. But none of that really matters in the long run, because, like the drunk, even though Evil Survives staggers about and often go off track and aren’t very graceful, they still have a purpose; they eventually wander home or find a taxi or something. Their songs actually have a destination- even though their delivery isn’t all that fantastic they still manage to get the point across. They manage to do so without blatantly plagiarizing any other band, either. Yes, the Maidenesque influences are still very present, but unlike most bands formed in the 21st century who play in this style, (I’m lookin’ at YOU White Wizzard) they don’t simply try to emulate this tried and true sound to the best of their ability, they actually expand on it, adding their own little spices and tinges.

I mentioned the vocalist in passing in that last paragraph, and I’d like to add a little more detail to what I said earlier, because the vocals on this album are indeed worthy of a review of their own. They’re frantic, aggressive, sometimes horribly tuneless and reminiscent of a 13-year-old metal fan singing along horribly to his favourite Maiden song, they’re friggin GREAT. Even though they’re not pitch-perfect in tone all the time (or almost any of the time for that matter) or have any sort of flow or grace, Karl Warkentin always seems to know exactly how he should sing to fit the current feel of the song. He’s got a great ear for the music and is really putting 110% into what he’s doing. He’s far from my favourite vocalist because it’s near IMPOSSIBLE to sing along to any of his vocal lines (you won’t hear me randomly bursting into a melody-deprived screeching of “CAN’T STOP…CAN’T STOP…THE VAAAAAMPIRE AMBUUUUUSHH” anytime soon) but he does have his moments, and when those moments occur, it’s fantastic. A random example of one of these moments off the top of my head would be the “whoa oh ohhhhh” section of the song “Metal” which is without question one of the highlights of the album. It's the first time the album really "clicks" after flailing around with the energetic opening track (Evil Will Survive) and the first half of the song.

Ah, but what would the realm of traditional metal be without its fair helping of cheese? Fear not, my friends, because this album has more cheese than a fucking Immortal video. While the crazy-ass falsettos that I should have mentioned in my previous paragraph certainly play a part in contributing to this ridiculous dairy factory, a lot of the overall cheese factor of this album draws from the lyrical themes, (in this day and age, it’s nearly impossible to write a song about vampires without it sounding really fucking ridiculous) the gratuitous amount of solos scattered throughout (solos aren’t cheesy by default, but the ones found on Metal Vengeance are. They’ve got too much widdly widdly widdly and not enough doo dee doo doo doo in them, y’know what I’m saying?) and the “happy” nature of the music. Even though there’s a lot of underlying grit in the guitars, the good ol’ galloping NWOBHM guitar leads make it really difficult to listen to some of these tracks without blushing just a little bit. This album is, in the vaguest sense of the term, a “guilty pleasure” of mine. I realize that there’s a lot of glaring flaws about the album that the band don’t care about enough to even ATTEMPT to hide, but I simply turn the other cheek and keep banging my head. Something about these songs just gives me that giddy feeling that makes me want to listen to it over and over again- I wasn’t quite sure how to describe it, until I looked at the album art for this release- it depicts a young, naïve boy being swept into the fantasy that is heavy metal. That may not be exactly what the image was trying to portray, but the image still shows what I mean: This album contains all the little elements that make this NWOBHM style magical. The goofy lyrics, the galloping riffs, the stylistically amorphous, charismatic vocalist, the fancy solos- it all just amounts to a delicious helping of SHIT THIS SHIT IS FUCKING AWESOME. They may not have the most monumental riffs or catchiest choruses and sometimes sound a little unsure of what they should be doing, but Evil Survives is metal to the fucking bone. Their music sweats pure steel from every single pore and listening to this album hearkens back to the good ol’ days, when you were a zit-faced cretin whose balls had yet to drop, listening to Number of the Beast or Master of Puppets or Painkiller for the first time, unaware of what lay ahead. Back when metal was a completely new world for you. This album recaptures that immaculate feeling that one gets from discovering something new and strange and wonderful, and even if it lacked everything else that made it great, I’d STILL highly recommend it for this reason. This isn’t essential, but makes a fantastic addition to any metal fan’s collection.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Chrispy indeed

So I like to listen to metal just so were clear, but I will sometimes step into the odd world of techno and these last couple of days I have done just that and I was guided to a man who goes by the name of ChrispyDubstep. Chrispy is a badass when it comes to dubstep in my opion and over 1,000,000 views I would say in the opion of many other too. So look him up on Youtube and jugde for your self. I will recommend Roll out, his remix of tik tok, and his remix of bulletproof. Enjoy

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Review

Shalomm TMTN viewers! Yes, it has been a long time since I posted. But coupled with my laptop going in for repairs, and my hectic schedule, I just don't have time anymore to post. UNTIL NOW!
That being said, I now bring you a review of a graphic novelsI have been reading.
Maus: A survivor's tale, Book 1: My father bleeds history
95/100
 Maus is part memoir, part autobiography, part graphic novel, and overall, quite brilliant in its design. The story tells the tale of Art Spiegelman (the writer and illustrator), a cartoonist , who is learning the life story of his holocaust survivor father, Vladek. The author/illustrator brilliantly incorporates the narrative of Vladek's story along with the subplot of Vladek's own personal life, and Art's struggles with his own emotions and his father's stubborness. It should also be mentioned that the cartoonist portrays the characters as different animals, primarily with Jews as mice and cats and Nazi Germans. I personally think this is a brilliant cartoon metaphor, almost alike to Tommy Douglas's 'Mouseland' speech. (If you don't know who he is, shame on you.)
The story is as emotional as any memoir, but the cartoons of these mice, in human clothes and settings, just bring Maus up to a newer, bigger level. The story runs very smoothly, transitioning from Vladek's Holocaust flashbacks, to the present day interview with Art.
Combining something as dramatic as a Holocaust tale with such a typically low key style as a graphic novel is a bold move, but Art Spigelman manages to pull it off beautifully.
So, therefore, this book is a
*BROADWAY BOOK OF THE WEEK*
(Catchy, huh?)
If you're l

Reviews of Not So New Games: Red Dead Redemption

I think I'm gonna start up a new thing to post about every once in a while. As you can tell, the videos are on an indefinite hiatus, partially because I'm lazy and partially because my computer has started running slower than a lizard in Antarctica. As of right now, every one minute spent making a video would come at the cost of about two minutes waiting for this machine to do what I tell it to do. This is by no means an ideal situation.

So, in the spirit of giving people something even if it's worse than what they're used to, I'll be doing a lot of text posting on pretty much anything I decide to, perhaps even with some recurring features. These features may even continue on once my computer decides to cooperate again.

The first of these features stems a lot from personal experience. It's very common that I'll wait and buy video games several months (or even a year or two) after their release date. Why? Because I still get to play the game, the price has usually been knocked down between ten and twenty dollars, and the online play generally has a fair amount of people without being overcrowded. This also gives the added bonus of having more time to figure out if you think the game will be good or not. And so, in case you want to take this option as well but aren't sure what to get, I present to you, Reviews of Not So New Games. The first subject of these reviews is Red Dead Redemption, which, as I said in a previous post, I picked up a couple weeks back. The game was actually released back in late May, and I contemplated buying it, but decided, as usual, to wait a while. And here we are.

I won't go much into the plot of the game, considering I have no spoiler tags at my disposal and I don't want anybody targeting their death rays at my house because I ruined the story for them. What? I'm the only one with a death ray? Well, still. Better not to take chances.

Basically, Rockstar Games has done what they do best. They've taken a game that goes above and beyond your standard M-rated fare where you shoot people, steal things, along with occasionally doing both at the same time, and they've moved it into the Wild West. This also adds the perks of people not always running away screaming when you pull out a gun, as well as being able to hear the hilarious but seldom-used word "wench" on a semi-regular basis, sprinkled around some more colourful language. While the GTA creators have swapped out cars for the more time period-fitting horses, the addition of a few fast-travel systems à la Assassin's Creed II allows you to get pretty much anywhere you want, provided, of course, you know where you're going.

And knowing where you're going is, indeed, more difficult than it sounds. The RDR world is literally sprawling, with miles of land for you to pillage and plunder throughout the game. While this land is, as you would expect, primarily open desert, there are a few towns filled with people, along with randomly appearing hunters and cowboys that you can encounter during your travels, so the only sense of scarcity that you get is one that makes sense.

Speaking of people encountered during your travels, every once in a while you'll run into people who could use a hand with something. Usually the favour is more pressing than simply giving them a cup of sugar to help bake a cake. One of the commonly occurring problems in towns, for examples, seems to be stopping people from stabbing prostitutes to death. To answer the question you might be asking, no, it doesn't happen to anybody else. Just prostitutes. Yeah, it's a little odd. Also, if you're hoping I'm gonna make some "stabbing/penetration" joke, look elsewhere. I mean, I have to draw the line somewhere. Probably. Anyway, these events usually have a couple different ways they can play out, largely based on how you react. For example, in our previously mentioned example, you can either stop the person from stabbing the prostitute, or not stop him. This obviously results in the prostitute either dying or not dying, both of which can have benefits. These events typically dole out some minor rewards: a few dollars; an increase to your notability, which makes people recognize you more; as well as altering your "honour", which can be either positive or negative. This basically acts as the game's karma system, as people with negative honour will have much more trouble with sheriffs and such coming after them, whereas those with positive honour can get discounts at stores and will find it ironically easier to bribe the law enforcement to leave them alone. Negative honour is, as usual, easier to gain, with the most effective method seeming to be just pulling a gun and shooting anyone who gets in your way.

The game's combat is also pretty easy to get used to. While the cover system can be finnicky at times, leading you to be caught on the wrong side of both a wall and a shotgun, the main character's "Dead Eye" ability (which is effectively your run-of-the-mill bullet time) quickly tips the odds back in your favour. As the game goes on, you uncover new and exciting ways to dispatch your foes with reckless abandon, including the cartoon-y and always fun method of lassoing them, tying them up, and throwing them on a train track. Note that this method is not limited to killing enemies, and, as shown by numerous Youtube videos, also works on nuns. No joke.

The plot seems to be standard Western fair, and pretty much takes a backseat to the scope of the environment and different opportunites to just mess around. That being said, don't write this off as another game you play just because of the open world. The characters are all individual and well-developed, and the plot is actually pretty engaging. As I haven't played through it all, I can't offer too much of a scope as to how long it is, but my bet's on somewhere around 20-30 hours; if, that is, you do nothing but play through story missions.

There are plenty of ways to get distracted in this game, with optional sidequests available from certain characters, various challenges to complete at different ranks such as sharpshooting and hunting, and even the temptation to just go out and explore the world. This is the first open-world game I've played where I legitimately wanted to take some time away from the missions to just go and look around.

The multiplayer experience is also quite well done, with the multiplayer lobby being composed of the entire single-player world. While online, you can ride around and link up with other players to from "posses", and from there you can start a variety of standard multiplayer games, such as deathmatches and CTFs, or just ride around, partake in some hunting or other pastimes, or even do some specifically adapted missions similar to those in the similar campaign. The newly added downloadable "Liars and Cheats" pack even adds in the ability to play poker and liar's dice with your friends online, along with some other features. I was a little disappointed by the lack of split-screen, particularly in the campaign, as the game design could lend itself very well to a co-op experience, but I can understand that the plot wouldn't fit the idea.

The tech specs of the game are also done very well. The animation of characters is about on par with what we've seen from previous Rockstar Games: nothing incredibly special, but pretty decent. The environments, however, are done quite well. Likewise, the sound quality is good and the characters' voices all fit their subjects, making it a very good experience.

All in all, I'd say Red Dead Redemption is well worth the money. It's one of the best open-world games I've ever seen, and if you're a fan of Rockstar's other works, buy it. No question.

***

And, there you have it, the first edition of Reviews of Not So New Games. I know it's long. Very long. But bear in mind the others will probably be more to the point. Like it? Don't? Too bad.

Keep going nowhere.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

So, More Video Games

I hate to post this because I feel like I'm stealing a little of ShadowMaster's thunder, but I have a few notes that I'm wanting to make, primarily on the subject of video games. Before I start, I want to again apologize for the lack of any videos recently, but with school restarting, my parents deciding to leave me to fend for myself for a week (no joke), and a variety of other problems, I've had some issues with free time. Or rather, the lack of free time. Some of you, however, will no doubt read what I've written below and say "How can you not have enough time to make videos, but have plenty of time to make video games?" To answer that question, there's always time for video games. ALWAYS.

So, first thing on the docket today (yes, docket's a real word) is the discussion of the upcoming game LittleBigPlanet 2. I'm sure for those who have played the original, this will need no introduction, but basically this version's upping the ante in pretty much every way imaginable. The customization (both for characters and levels) is completely off the charts, even compared to the last game, with creators being able to make full games inside their levels, such as racing games, shooters, etc. You name it, you can make it. The graphics have also been upgraded, particulary when it comes down to lighting and particle simulation, but thankfully the art style seems to have remained untouched. All DLC and user-made levels from the original will be fully compatible with the new game, so don't fret about losing your favourite costume and whatnot. For those who feel like shelling out an extra $10-20, there's also a Collector's Edition available from Amazon or most EB Games in Canada. It's available at a ton of US retailers, too, but EB Games is the only one I've confirmed here in Canada. For the relatively low price of $79.99, you get (in addition to the game) a 7" Sackboy stuffed toy, two LBP-themed book ends (though they're apparently for games, too), and a slew of bonus customization options: 11 costumes ranging from a Sesame Street character to Ratchet and Clank, along with 5 custom avatars for your PSN account. All in all, I'd consider it a pretty good deal, and if you think so too, you'd better hurry and pre-order it now, because supplies are limited and they're selling out fast.

My next note is on the game Red Dead Redemption, which I obtained about a week ago. I'm not gonna go into the plot or anything, but from the little I've played so far, I can tell you it's awesome. Don't get me wrong, it really lives up to its M rating (let's not forget that Rockstar Studios, the developer of the game, was also behind the GTA games), but the content is fitting of the Wild West subject matter. In addition to solid gameplay and a good plot, the game has tons of optional sidequests and challenges to keep you occupied for every minute you play it, and even in the frustrating parts there's still a lot of entertainment. Top moments for me right now include losing to a man in horseshoes and then beating him to death, as well as getting incredibly drunk, watching someone stab a prostitute repeatedly, and then passing out beside her dead body while people standing in the street glared at me.

It's just that great of a game.

Unfortunately, that's all I have for you right now, but I'll be sure to try and do some work on either posting or making a video, or just something to give you something to look at.

Until then, keep going nowhere.

EDIT: I apologize. The costume included in the LBP 2 Collector's Edition is, in fact, from the Muppets, not Sesame Street. As a note for the future, don't rely on my knowledge of puppet-based TV shows or their stars.
DOUBLE EDIT: Just preordered my copy of the Collector's Edition today. It was by no means cheap, but it's one of the better CE deals I've seen lately. This is also confirmation that EB Games definitely has preorders of the CE available, so if you're wanting one, you know where to go.

From review to update

Just so every one knows, I have given up on game reviews and have moved on to video game news!!!
Moving on Halo Reach is already a big success as more than 5,000 man years have been spent online in matchmaking. Also there is an update planned for October for matchmaking playlists and gametypes plus the addition of campaign matchmaking.
Fable 3! Looking a lot like Fable 2 except you can level weapons, become king (or queen), the menu is actually a place in the world of Albion that you can travel to and you have a butler in that area, and all the things are more in-depth but easier to use.
Also it's rumoured that Lionhead studios are already have the story line for Fable 4, 5, and 6.

Friday, September 24, 2010

R.E.V.I.E.W

Easy A. Better name would be Dumbass Phony Prostitute. Major chick flick but i supose it had its moments. The parents of this faker than Pamela Anderson's breasts prostitute were actually really funny! But total chick flick.... you have been warned! Stay tuned for more reviews this weekend.

PineapplePie XD

I'm Le Sorry

I'm sorry i know I said I would have a review up but I've been super busy lately should be up tomorrow! Also look out for a series of Chapters from a story I'm making called Peddy's VS Eddie.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Nikkoliah's Artistic Genius

GUESS WHAT
I has drawing for ya :3

The 250 makes little to no sense in the context of THIS blog, but on MY blog and MY blog only, I just posted my 250th post. I wanted to share the amazingness with you TMNT people, and also to write the commentary here so that my readers are forced to come here to see it. You're welcome.

(click to enlarge)

I wish I had a tablet. I really do. There's, like, these little white specks that surround all the black lines, and I have to colour over all of them instead of just using the Fill tool. It's like a less severe version of what happens in MS Paint. (I use Sumo Paint, an online editor, for my stuff, because I don't have the money for Photoshop). As a result, colouring is a long and tedious process, but I do need the practice for shadows and stuff. So it's a process I'll tolerate.

This probably took me, like, 10 hours in total, as I worked on it over a number of weeks. THAT'S A LOT OF TIME BUDDY. But it was the satisfaction of a lifetime when I finally saved and uploaded this, and I knew it would be before I even started colouring.

Also, I finally got around to resizing the actual image. They've always been in giant and unviewable-on-a-computer sizes, but I discovered the magical 'Image Size...' button on the toolbar today. This is a life-chaging discovery, I tell ya.

Last independent paragraph: You probably already know this, but the girl here is my avatar. She looks pretty much nothing like me, but I always draw me as her. The first prototype for her design is here. Also, I have an un-resized drawing of kinda what I actually look like next to her right here:

The skin colour on this one is radically different o_O it's really...pink.

Anyways, hope you like my drawings, cuz I'll be posting more. Much more....hahahaaaa...

...they'll probably be fairly rare, though, since they're quite a project for the one with no tablet. Look forward to them anyway!

Saturday, September 18, 2010

New song!

Well, ladies, gentlemen, and Soulextractor (Not really sure what he is), here's my first post since my introductions. Tadah... its a song! WARNING: CONTAINS SOME MILD LANGUAGE BLAH BLAH BLAH NO ONE READS DISCLAIMERS LETS JUST START.

Kill the lights
[Verse]
Baby, You just know I'm ready to blow
(Tickticktick just waiting for the boom)
Let the curtain rise, they're ready for the show
(Ready or not, I'm spelling your doom)
[Bridge 1]
I'm your entertainer,
I'm the final feature,
I'm ready to start, gonna throw out my heart
And I'll become the creature
[Chorus]
Bring that crowd to their feet
Their screams'll pierce the night
For the one last time
I'm putting up a fight
Kill the lights, flip the switch
We gotta go home,
And I don't need company
I can get back alone.
[Chorus 2]
Now the people are dying for something new
(Gotta give what they want, they are here for me)
And I want something, that something would be you
(But all I want is you, are you too blind to see?)
[Bridge 2]
I'm your sacred angel,
I'm the ruthless monster
Heaven and hell, this gig is goin' swell!
And I'm bout to fuck you over!
[Chorus]
Bring that crowd to their feet
Their screams'll pierce the night
For the one last time
I'm putting up a fight
Kill the lights, flip the switch
We gotta go home,
And I don't need company
I can get back alone.
[Bridge 3]
And when your daymares give you the chills
Think of me, I'll satisfy your thrills
Metal on my lips, what a waste time.
And though I'm out of reach
Baby I wont preach
Your my partner in crime!
[Guitar solo most definitely here]
[Chorus]
Bring that crowd to their feet
Their screams'll pierce the night
For the one last time
I'm putting up a fight
Kill the lights, flip the switch
We gotta go home,
And I don't need company
I can get back alone.
I can get back alone
I can get back alone,
Watch me go
Alone.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Coming Soon

Sit tight and be patient because Sunday night another review will sure be up like a pedo's heart rate on at the local Chuck E Cheese!

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Some News

Yeah, I'm posting text. Not a video, not any "hilarious" pictures of cats with invisible objects, just text. And links. And some other stuff. But all of it's in the form of those wonderful things you can read, write, and say: words.

If you are in no way excited about this post, I really can't blame you.

I see how this may be a bit of a letdown considering the fact that my videos were actually starting to get good (sort of), and now I'm dropping them like a celebrity who realizes they're holding a baby just to move on to something else. That's not entirely accurate, actually. I'm still keeping them up, just on a slightly more elongated timeline. Or something like that.

In their place you will now find text posts similar to this one, except without this introduction/explanation part, as they will instead cut straight to the important things below. These posts will pretty much feature all of the parts of my videos, such as news and info about movies, music, games, etc., and even some additional things, and they'll be much more frequent than the videos were. As a note: I do intend to keep making videos, and if I can find a way to make one every week that fits my schedule, I will do so. This schedule revert will probably occur in October/November, when I'll have settled into school fully and will have more time for things like this.

Anyway, getting on to the actual content. I'm sure you've noticed that we now have two new writers on the team, BroadwayMoshpit and Nikkoliah. They both have bios up and have already started posting, so go ahead and check their stuff out. As for their characters in the videos, well, you'll have to wait and see them when the next video gets uploaded. As well, I'm sure you've noticed the ads on the right hand side. These are to try and pay for our own domain name, making our site easier to find, so we apologize for the inconvenience, but that's just the way it'll have to be for the next little while.

So, news. Well, France has recently passed a law against wearing full-length veils in public. Apparently, any veil that covers a woman's face cannot be worn in public areas, and, though only about 2,000 women in France wear these veils regularly, the idea has created a lot of controversy among the Muslim population. I can't really blame them, since the ban seems a little far-fetched, but as was said during the debates about it, it does help confront some security concerns. However, I'm interested in hearing what the readers think. If you're reading this, what's your opinion on the ban? Are you for it, against it, what?

Anyway, I'm gonna try and implement a few recurring features. First off is the Youtube video of the week. Every, wait, what day is it today? Wednesday? Okay, every Wednesday, I'll post a new Youtube video that I think is funny, or well done, or something. This week? We have the Scout from Team Fortress 2 trying to sell you a Slap Chop. Check it out.

Anyway, that's about all I can think of to talk about at the moment. Keep checking back for more updates and videos, and keep checking back every Wednesday for the Youtube Video of the Week. Who knows, I may add more weekly features for you to read.

Anyway, keep going nowhere.

Style is for pussies.

Well, I'm back. Amidst the flood of new members, videos and such, you motherfuckers probably forgot I even existed. As you can see, I'm still here, and still alive. I've got a couple of reviews in the queue (I'll try to review more well-known bands for the blog in an effort to give it more exposure) but I figured you guys want a more general post, so here you go. This is probably the only time Ten Minutes to Nowhere's resident cranky metalhead will be catering to the whims of his audience, so eat it up. You're not gonna get a chance like this again.

A FEW NOTES BEFORE WE BEGIN:
-this is a general rant. This will be the only other kinda post I'll make other than reviews. Just so you know.
-at the end of any rants, because this is still a "blog" per se, and because I'm quite the music fanatic, I'll post a random band I've discovered recently that I find awesome. Hopefully you enjoy it too, so you'll buy their CD and stop listening to the crap you listen to.
-most of my rants are done out of spontaneous blind rage, so they ARE rather extreme and hyperbolic. Keep that in mind.
-Feel free to argue my opinions if you don't agree with them. I love arguments. I'll whoop your ass in them because my opinions are inherently superior to all others.

Now that we've got those formalities out of the way, let us begin.

I hate fashion. I really do. I hate anybody who is too obsessed with "how they look". Clothing is used to cover up parts of the body that are "not suitable" for the wandering eye to gaze at, or of course, basic survival needs. Clothing should not be used to make some baseless "statement" or to try and go "against the norm". You're not unique. Even if you've snorted 80 fire ants through your nose whilst juggling to the tune of "I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major General", you're still not unique. You conform. Get used to it.

Even if this "statement" you're making is somehow valid (it would have to be in some sort of retarded parallel universe where Hitler is praised as an amazing, revolutionary individual and everybody's buttocks are on their knees), do you really think any of the shit you're wearing honestly looks GOOD? Like piercings. Earrings I can tolerate, but who the hell was the first guy who looked at a piece of metal and said, "hey, this looks like the kind of thing that I'd like to cut a hole in my face for". Really. Piercings anywhere other than your ears look REALLY FUCKING STUPID. There's no other way to put it.

Same thing goes for tattoos. Again, tattoos are the kind of thing that COULD be alright if used in moderation, but some people feel the need to PUT A FUCKING PAINTING ALL OVER THEIR ARMS, LEGS, AND ON THEIR GODDAMN BACK. COME ON PEOPLE IF YOU LIKE THE PICTURE THAT BAD JUST GET SOME ARTIST TO PAINT IT AND HANG IT ON YOUR FUCKING WALL HOW IS IT DOING ANY GOOD ON YOUR BACK ANYWAYS YOU CAN'T EVEN SEE THIS APPARENT IMMACULATE PIECE OF ART YOU LOVE SO MUCH SO WHAT'S THE FUCKING POINT??? To "turn your individual persona into a visual concept" or some bullshit like that? Please. Spare me your pithy attempts at dragging yourself out of mediocrity.

And some of the clothes I witness people wear on a daily basis...holy crap. All the bright, contrasting colors on the shirts, shorts, shoes, and backpacks given me a FRIGGIN SEIZURE. Colors like pink, orange, light green and light blue are NOT meant to all be used in one "outfit" or worse, one article of clothing. ESPECIALLY not when a guy does it. I give a bit of leeway to all the ladies here (and the clothing they wear in general), because looking "good", is a natural kind of thing for them. Same way giving an impression of machismo and charisma is common amongst males. These things aren't stereotypes, they're primal instincts (hell, even I do the macho-crap from time to time) that are exemplified frequently in the animal kingdom. It doesn't separate the genders in any way, so please don't start foaming at the mouth over my nonexistent sexism.
But if I ever see a guy wearing blue, pink, orange and green all at once, I'll flip my shit. IT DOES NOT LOOK GOOD. YOU LOOK LIKE A TRANSVESTITE RAINBOW. PLEASE GO SOMEWHERE WHERE THE GENERAL PUBLIC CANNOT VIEW YOU. LIKE SOME DESERT ISLAND WHERE I'M SURE YOU'LL ATTEMPT TO FONDLE YOUR OWN BALLS WITH YOUR TONGUE OUT OF BOREDOM.

Dear lord. Long story short: Anybody who thinks that their clothing is anything more than something used to cover up their no-no places and provide warmth or comfort is a twat, but ahead and wear clothing you like or stuff you think looks "good" for all I care. But just so you know: clothing does not express individualism any more than posting shitty vlogs on youtube makes you a filmmaker. I wear bandshirts and jeans not because I think it's my "style" or it defines me as a person or something, but because I like the logos and the clothing is comfortable. The end.

RANDOM MUSIC FIND: A Canadian depressive black metal band called Gris. Yes, that's right. Confounding as it may be, there is indeed some depressive black metal out there that doesn't totally suck balls. Instead of the music being really fucking whiny and emo like Happy Days and other garbage of its ilk, these guys seem to have found solace in the melancholy of their music and are exploring the emotion in its purest form. Amazing, sobering stuff. Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwLw1twqz1w

That's all, folks. This has been your friendly neighborhood soul extraction for the day.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Oh, lookity! A song!

Here's a l'il history lesson. I started writing songs when I was 10 or 11. As you might imagine, my first tries were either awfully generic or generically awful. But as time went on, I began to gain more knowledge on the topic, just by looking at other peoples' work and learning from that (Nightwish especially, their lyrics are phenomenal). So now I can consider myself halfway decent, at the least.
This'll be nothing new for anyone that already reads my other blog (like most of the stuff I'm putting on here to begin with), but this is the last one I've written, titled One of the Damned. You're right, it does sound emo. It's really not. I can show you emo. I CAN SHOW YOU, LIKE, PERFECT MISERY. But I won't.


Sorry these take up so much space, but I hate doing that thing with the slashes to separate lines./Like this./It's so annoying to read.

Standing on the horizon
Thinking of all the love you lost
Never again will I fly much higher
Still tumbling down to the cost

Watch, as you leave none behind
Look, a blessed soul to find
Erase the days of all lost hope
And look me in the eye
Watch, me fall, you like to now
Look around, they're gone
Delude yourself until you die
Which won't be very long

The shadows of the past
Are thickening in seconds
Bringing memories and dreams
And weeping soft for long ago

Illusions of tragedy
Were simply cries for help
Your cries were left unanswered
For you've yet to learn to love yourself

Watch, as you leave none behind
Look, a blessed soul to find
Erase the days of all lost hope
And look me in the eye
Watch me fall, you like to now
Look around, they're gone
Delude yourself until you die
Which won't be very long

"Tell me what it's like to be one of you.
Of strength and power, but never emotion or time.
Of possessing the capabilities of a god, but wasting it on trivial desires.
Of hoping for love but never looking further for it than backwards.
Tell me what it's like...to be one of the damned."


Delude yourself until you die
Which won't be very long...at all