Stories From Nowhere: Pokemon Battle

So, I'm again going to be starting up a new feature, this one called Stories From Nowhere. These will basically be whatever the hell I feel like posting, from rants to things that have happened to be, to god knows what. The first of these Stories From Nowhere is about a conversation SoulExtractor (Nathan) and I (Mitchell) had on MSN one day when we were both very bored. I came up with the idea of doing an impromptu text-based Pokemon battle, and this is the (unfinished) result. As of yet, the battle is still unfinished, but I'll post more of it once it gets completed. Keep in mind while you read this that this was entirely made up on the spot. None of it was planned out beforehand. So, without further ado, I give you: Nathan vs. Communist Dictator!


Mitchell says: 
> a wild COMMUNIST DICTATOR APPEARS 
> choose your pokémon! 
Nathan says: 
> umm...i choose VALIANT YET CLUMSY HERO! 
Mitchell says: 
> Trainer NATHAN uses VALIANT YET CLUMSY HERO! 
> COMMUNIST DICTATOR gets first move! 
> COMMUNIST DICTATOR uses GOVERNMENT PROPAGANDA! 
> it isn't very effective. 
> what will you do? 
Nathan says: 
> select attack: ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT 
Mitchell says: 
> VALIANT YET CLUMSY HERO uses attempts to assassinate COMMUNIST DICTATOR! 
> VALIANT YET CLUMSY HERO slips on an (in)conveniently placed BANANA PEEL! 
> VALIANT YET CLUMSY HERO sulks in a CORNER about his FAILURE! 
> COMMUNIST DICTATOR uses RALLYING SPEECH! 
> COMMUNIST DICTATOR's attack increases dramatically! 
> what will you do? 
Nathan says: 
> select attack: REBELLIOUS PROTEST 
Mitchell says: 
> VALIANT YET CLUMSY HERO uses REBELLIOUS PROTEST! 
> COMMUNIST DICTATOR auto-counters with CRUSHING MILITARY MIGHT, but MISSES! 
> CRITICAL HIT! 
> COMMUNIST DICTATOR loses 3796 HP! 
> COMMUNIST DICTATOR's current HP level: 6204/10000 
> COMMUNIST DICTATOR uses ICH BIN EIN KICKASS! 
> COMMUNIST DICTATOR executes a BRUTAL AFFRONT! 
> VALIANT YET CLUMSY HERO bears the brunt of the FATAL ATTACK using his MAIN CHARACTER STATUS! 
> what will you do? 
Nathan says: 
> select: GATHER A FOLLOWING OF FELLOW PROTESTERS 
Mitchell says: 
> VALIANT YET CLUMSY HERO uses GATHER A FOLLOWING OF FELLOW PROTESTORS! 
> your RAGTAG GROUP OF HIPPIES AND RAGAMUFFINS sits outside GOVERNMENTAL OFFICES and sings MONOTONOUS CHANTS concerning your MILD DISPLEASURE! 
> your PULCHRITUDE increases slightly. 
> COMMUNIST DICTATOR uses MILITARY CRACKDOWN! 
> it's super effective! 
> your RAGTAG GROUP OF HIPPIES AND RAGAMUFFINS has been defeated! 
> VALIANT BUT CLUMSY HERO takes MINIMAL DAMAGE! 
> what will you do? 
Nathan says: 
> Select: SET SELF ON FIRE IN PROTEST TO RALLY MORE FOLLOWERS 
> if it works for the zen buddhists, it'll work for me. 
Mitchell says: 
> VALIANT YET CLUMSY HERO uses SET SELF ON FIRE IN PROTEST TO RALLY MORE FOLLOWERS! 
> VALIANT YET CLUMSY HERO's MAIN CHARACTER STATUS laments VALIANT YET CLUMSY HERO's seemingly persistent ATTEMPTS TO KILL HIMSELF, but chalks it up to HORMONAL IMBALANCE! 
> the MAIN CHARACTER STATUS absorbs all of the damage from the DANGEROUS AND FIERY FIRE! 
> you do begin to feel an UNCOMFORTABLE RASH cropping up on your REAR END, however 
> in the meantime, FOLLOWERS flock to your position, ALLYING with you and TRIPLING your ATTACK 
> COMMUNIST DICTATOR's DEFENSE DECREASES as he EMPATHIZES with your EXTREME MEASURES 
> COMMUNIST DICTATOR uses EMOTIONAL MONOLOGUE! 
> his SYMPATHY-DRAWING PLEA FOR UNDERSTANDING confuses HALF OF YOUR FOLLOWERS. they will no longer respond to ORDERS. 
> what will you do? 
Nathan says: 
> I counter with RALLYING SPEECH THAT CRITICIZES COMMUNIST DICTATOR'S METHOD OF GOVERNING 
Mitchell says: 
> VALIANT YET CLUMSY HERO uses RALLYING SPEECH THAT....oh, you get the goddamn point 
Nathan says: 
> you coulda just copied and pasted. 
Mitchell says: 
> VALIANT YET CLUMSY HERO's counter FAILS because of the BREAKING OF THE FOURTH WALL 
Nathan says: 
> select: HIT ALL OPPOSED TO MY PROTESTS OVER HEAD WITH PICKET SIGNS 
Mitchell says: 
> VALIANT BUT CLUMSY HERO uses HIT ALL OPPOSED TO MY PROTESTS OVER HEAD WITH PICKET SIGNS! 
> as VALIANT YET CLUMSY HERO approaches the nearest NON-BELIEVER, the man pulls a GUN and POINTS IT CASUALLY IN THE HERO'S DIRECTION 
Nathan says: 
> OSHIT 
Mitchell says: 
> THE HERO DECIDES TO TARGET A NEARBY GRANNY INSTEAD. 
> GRANNY counters with EAT COOKIES, BITCH 
> VALIANT YET CLUMSY HERO suffers MINIMAL DAMAGE and GAINS SOME WEIGHT. 
> COMMUNIST DICTATOR spends his turn LOLLING AT VALIANT YET CLUMSY HERO's PREDICAMENT


* * *


There you have it. As you can tell, it's still very much unfinished, but the rest will be posted once an ending is reached.


- Keep going nowhere.


EDIT: I've figured out that copy-pasting really, really screws with the font on these post things. As it is, in order to get this post to actually show up in the normal colour., I had to change the text colour to white, so I can't see what I'm writing unless I highlight it. Even the size and type of the font got messed with. Rest assured that for the next time I try something like this, I'll figure something out, but for now I'm too lazy. Continuity can suck it.
DOUBLE EDIT: Managed to seemingly fix everything except for weird double line breaks, and this much I can live with. The text colour and font seem to have reverted, though as I'm typing this the font in the text box looks a little weird. I'll take it, though. Seems like the best I'm gonna get.